jASON: greetings
 

i: Greetings back at ya.
 

j: Received a mildly amusing e-mail from c...
 

i: Mildly amusing is always interesting.
 

j: "Hi, Received fax from s. He still says that he did not receive the Agreement yet. He is driving me.... Please give me the details which address it was mailed to and when. Please scan me a copy if you can. Thanks, c."
 

i: " ... " That's brilliant!
 

j: Yeah
 

i: Who would have thought ... could say fuck better than fuck could say fuck?
 

j: haha
 

i: effing a

Oh man. work o work oh work

Why work, why.
 

j: laughs
 

i: I say we give the giant kick boot to all work, ever.

Everyone should just kick back, relax, and stop doing stuff.

Problem solved.
 

j: Even breathing
 

i: Sure

Why not.
 

j: Lotsa problems solved.
 

i: Definitely. what if the entire race committed suicide.

What would god say?

Hell has not enough room.

Have you ever said 'no' to someone or some request, without giving a reason? Just a flat no. And they ask you 'why' and you're just like 'no'.
 

j: No
 

i: Damn
 

j: hahaha
 

i: I wonder what they'd say. I wonder how they would act differently around you, and treat you, based on your reasonless no.
 

j: I guess it depends on what they were asking for.
 

i: For instance, at work. The boss says 'I need a flyer for my airplane hanger drawn up.' When I've already a million too many things to do (which he assigned). I was considering saying 'no' flatly.

I wondered what would transpire.

I think no one has ever said no to him.
 

j: What if you said no and hit him in the kidney?
 

i: Even better!

Because then he can't respond.

At least for a few seconds.

But if he does (by trying to hit back) you just punch him harder really quick like.

In a kind and caring way.

Now THAT'S spin!

'kicking you, in a kind and caring way'.

Sounds like something from the bush administration playbook.
 

j: That's like 'compassionate conservatism."
 

i: Laughs

Precisely.
 

j: Does your message thing say "don't quit your job- earn you as, bs, or ms degree in 1 year!"

?

At the bottom.
 

i: hmmm.. I'm using windows vista with I think a newer version of MSN Messenger. It has a picture of WINDOWS LIVE MESSENGER, under 'Advertisement', but no ad.

But I've seen an ad like that before on this message thingy.
 

j: No

I'm special.

It's a special offer

Just for me.
 

i: In the back of premier magazine there's an ad for a 7 disc dvd director course, with FREE diploma and course completion certificates!!
 

j: Wow!!
 

i: Right next to 'how long until maximum enlargement can be reached?' penis enlargement ad.
 

j: Oooo!
 

i: hahaha
 

j: I get special e-mails about that.
 

i: And on the opposite page, 'better sex', with some serious soft core porn pictures.

A full page ad no less.
 

j: Wow

So

What shall we discuss tonight?

I was thinking a very important topic.
 

i: I'm up for anything. Let's hear it.
 

j: "will harry potter die in the next (and last) book?"
 

i: Answer: Yes
 

j: And more importantly

"will naughty teenage girls still write homo-erotic fan fic about him?"
 

i: hahaaaha

Ahh fan fiction, where would 'reality' be without you.
 

j: laughs

"Number one, it's time to shine my helmet."
 

i: laughs

Teenage girls ARE horny.
 

j: They could have had the intelligent quiet boy.

But fell for the jock.
 

i: Jocks can be so serenely dumb.

Or can they?

An important question.

Let's ask our panel.

Tomorrow, on leeza gibbons...

Alright, you got your sarcastic humoristic fatalistic comment in there.

What's the REAL topic.

Mel Gibson?

Britney Spears?

Tim Allen?

You know I can't think if not in celebrity.
 

j: Kim whatisname

From Korea.
 

i: Who the hell
 

j: Lil kim!
 

i: hahahaa

She cool

Served her time.
 

j: I'm talkin' bout the leader ov north Korea

The other lil kim.
 

i: Oh, the guy with the cool haircut.

That the Americans make fun of

Relentlessly.

I don't know the guy, can't talk about him.

It's only fair.

This isn't freakin fox commentary.

Here's a question to posit in your ears.
 

j: Boxes
 

i: I like the topic.

There's something warm and friendly about a box.
 

j: Yup McDonald's started putting their burgers in boxes after their hired psychologists told them that people like to open boxes.
 

i: People like opening mail to. They should seal fries in envelopes.
 

j: hahaha

Valentines envelopes.
 

i: If only. we can't live in too idealistic of a world. that just wouldn't be realistic.

So here's the question....

How likely is it that everything we're perceiving is not really happening?

On a scale.

I let you decide the scale.
 

j: I don't perceive scales.
 

i: laughs

Damnit
 

j: The question is...
 

i: Like that

Did I really just say damnit?

Or didn't I.
 

j: Are they happening THE WAY we perceive them?

Are we inside the fish bowl, and the goldfish swimming around out in the open air?
 

i: You and I should start a spin corporation. What with your ability to rephrase questions by stating 'the real question is', and my ability to neutralize and contradict from every possible angle... we could make millions!

MILLIONS!!!

What is 'way', btw. The perception of movement?
 

j: The perception ov perception.
 

i: *gong*

When you're perceiving yourself... i.e., you're aware (right now) you're alive. Doesn't that make you schizophrenic?
 

j: Are you alive
 

i: Is it possible to fuck someone up with questions?
 

j: Or have you just stopped death?
 

i: hahahaaaa!!

Our questions rule.

What is a question?
what is is?
and what is what? and and

Why does beer make everything better?
 

j: What?
 

i: Why do we ask questions?
 

j: The best beer is homemade!
 

i: Liar

Take that back.

You've been bought off by the homemade beer connoisseurs.
 

j: Try it!
 

i: You disgust me.

Try the moon!
 

j: I made my own beer, and it was great!

I used chocolate.
 

i: Why must you lie!

*hurl*
 

j: What is a lie?
 

i: Let me tell you what a lie is...
 

j: Truth
 

i: I give up. I tried to think about it, but it killed my neurons. It has its own army up there, protecting the fortress.
 

j: Hmmmm

Explain females to me.
 

i: What is laziness

haha
 

j: Your perception.
 

i: Females

Hmmmm

They're the yin to our yang.

haha!

Wait, let me be serious.
 

j: Don't be playing with your yang!
 

i: I play only with yin
 

j: Good

Good

Never rub another man's rhubarb.
 

i: That's good math.

For these 'numeric' times
 

j: So

Is perception everything?

How important is it?
 

i: Sorry, that was the tagline on my math book.

Very IMPORTANT!!

With emphasis.
 

j: But everyone's perception is different.
 

i: But here's a question.
 

j: Remember the elephant story??
 

j: Elephant!
 

i: Is there any purpose or importance to undervaluing its importance? Like when someone says 'it's just perception.'

You can't bring elephants into this conversation

No room for elephants.

Ahh, ... go on, you know I can't say no to an elephant story.
 

j: What is the difference between perception and opinion?

You know- the blind men and the elephant.
 

i: Haven’t heard it.
 

j: One thought it was a rope

Because he just felt it's tail

One thought it was a tree

Because he just felt it's leg

One thought it was a wall

Because he just felt it's side

They were all wrong

Because ov their perceptions!!
 

i: That's great. But why an elephant? Why not a cute little pigeon
 

j: It's too small.
 

i: Why, why, WHY!!
 

j: You could tell it's a pigeon by feeling it.
 

i: Mr. pigeon is offended.

I want a pet pigeon, and to call him 'mr. pigeon.'

That would make me happy

I'm sure of it.
 

j: You wouldn’t rather have a parrot?

They talk

You could teach it useful things like recipes.
 

i: But, about the elephant story. It was just an elephant. They each perceived parts of it. But what is the importance of even the moral of the story?
 

j: Well

Someone brought them in the room with it and asked them what it was.

And they all guessed wrong

Because they only felt a part ov it.
 

i: And how does that help us?
 

j: What if we only perceive part ov reality?
 

i: But the person who administered the test, and eventually the participants, found out it was an elephant.
 

j: No

I think he had their heads chopped off.
 

i: laughing

^top